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August 26, 2005
Before it's not too late
What would you say to a Chinese university student who started confessing to you one night over cell phone text messages that he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant but been unable to keep his word that he would study at the same university as her? That she’d died in a car accident, after he had cheated on her with another girl?
I know what I would say. I know what I did say last night when it happened. Last Friday was the one-year anniversary of her death, so he’s had a year to mull over it and be crushed by guilt; the wound is not fresh, but still raw. The students at our university have a penchant for jumping off the tallest building on campus (nineteen stories) when life gets too much to handle. I brought out the best weapon in my arsenal for fighting crippling guilt – Jesus’ bearing of our wrongdoing in his own body and the hope we have because of it.
If I weren’t depending on the truth of that as the basis for my own life, I have no idea what I would’ve told him. “There’s nothing you can do about it now, don’t feel guilty”? Ha, that’s not even easy to say!
This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten strange or very personal confessions from my students. It’s a phenomenon other foreign teachers in China have experienced also. As I’ve become more familiar with the university culture here, I’ve learned that students have no choice about who they live with; they are often on friendly terms with their roommates, but not close. Gossip is horrendous. Conformity is expected. It’s not common for universities to offer counseling. Many students don’t feel comfortable sharing personal things with their parents; or, they want to protect their parents from worry and so don’t mention depression, frustration, disillusionment or failure during their weekly phone chats and visits home.
And so we occasionally find ourselves offering a sympathetic listening ear to young(er) adults who feel there’s no one else to confide in. Maybe they also figure foreign teachers are on the outside of Chinese culture and won’t judge them. Maybe it’s more impersonal, less visceral, to talk about hard issues in a foreign language.
Maybe I don't understand all the reasons involved.
| By huzzlecoo | 05:56 PM
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Comments
I'd give you E-props for this story except, well, the super-cool seattleblog-people don't allow me to. So, I'll just say that this story is just as crazy to read "in print" as it was to hear in person. Despite the pain, or rather because of it, it is clear that God is drawing this kid to Himself.
Posted by: Naomi at August 29, 2005 01:38 PM
